Tuesday, August 16, 2005


My Dad smoked when I was a kid. He didn't smoke Marboros or Camels or Pall Malls, he smoked Belairs. They had the outside wrapper that was blue sky and clouds, cool look.

I always like the '57 Chevy Belaire, it was a cool car. Had the black, white and chrome with tail fins and those little pieces on the hood, cool look.

I spent my whole life trying to have that cool look, never made it. I followed the path the world laid out and ended up a chain smok'n, alcohol suck'n, lonely boy. Not cool.

There's a biz on Main st. that has the name Belaire, I thought when I was younger that was where Dad got his cig's and they made that car, silly boy.

Every time I drove passed that place I thought of my Dad, and it was like he was standing there looking at me. One night when I was far drunker than I'd admit, I drove passed that place and my Dad was standing there saying 'Son, what are you doing?' I almost wrecked that night.

Well it's been 15yrs since that night, I don't smoke, drink, or even cuss. I'm married now and have the six kids I sired living with their mother and I under the same roof. I still drive down that same street and I still see Dad standing there saying 'Son, what are you doing?' as I drive by. Dad's still alive and I see him often, but he's not the one standing there either. The voice is the same but I know it's God talking, why is He posing as my Dad? He's not, it's just one of the ways I've felt His gentle prodding for years and He knows I'll listen there. How many times has God said to you 'My child, what are you doing?' in that voice. Did you answer?

Do you still hear Him?

Are you even listening?

Stop. Listen for His voice, He's always there watching and He's waiting for an answer.

'My child, what are you doing?'

God Bless!
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